It’s a rainy Sunday evening and from the window of the dance studio I am rehearsing at, I take a moment to observe normal life. Somewhere between umbrellas, rain coats and rain boots I suddenly feel envious of the ordinariness of common people. The window is open and through its crack I sense the appearance of summer in New York City. The air feels thick and sticky and the raindrops slightly caress my eyelashes. I notice couples, children, lovers and friends; right in this moment, I wonder for a second what my life would be if I weren’t an artist.
Silently, I timidly smile guiltiness and once again I find myself staring at my path standing stubborn in the mirror in front of me. Still avoiding acceptance, on a Sunday evening, while NYC enjoys its streets, I breathe practice.
Practice to perform. Perform to achieve. Achieve to accomplish my so called ‘dream profession’.
Chanting Frank Sinatra and Alicia Keys’ anthems, somehow between being talented, driven, overwhelmed and frustrated, thousands of us live to idealistically make it. Often contemplating its meaning, I frequently think of the idea of –making it-.
What does –making it- really mean? Is -making it- being recognized? Is it being famous? Or is it purely- diligently pursuing- a passion? Is it maybe impacting the world with our talent and skill? Is it being on Broadway? Is it maybe being Off- Broadway good enough? Is it ultimately paying bills? And if- making it- means really paying bills, does that passively imply that who doesn’t live off their craft is not legitimately - making it-?
In an industry where labels are the kings of mainstream and where auditioning and castings are the only apparent accessible devices to monetarily succeed, we all eventually decide to let go of that illusionary career path we once thought we wanted to follow.
We let go off the idea that having an agent is the only way to go. We admit that auditioning is a dysfunctional form of submission and we stop hoping to be signed by a major label. We finally choose to give up dependency. After all, how can we manage to ever be independent if at the end all we live for is a damn call back?
So we quit the status quo and we decide to call ourselves independent artists; we decide to become our own bosses primarily because subconsciously we think independence is solely doing what we want.
Emotionally addicted we think with our heart and feel with our mind, often ending up handling our profession as we would handle a romantic relationship. We take breaks, we get mad at each other for being so greedy and hungry for fame, we act selfish and we frequently settle for less just because of the fact that we love what we do.
To avoid responsibility, we typically blame the industry for being -corrupted - polluted –limited-yet, what are we truly doing as independent artists to take control of our artistic lives?
Some of us make it by -being at the right place at the right time-; most of us however don’t make it because bottom line we know what we want yet don’t bother to think about how to logistically get there.
Independency comes from the manner by which we handle ourselves in relation to our craft. We need to be artistic business men and women to be able to create more avenues of opportunity and pursue art as a job and not only as recreational activity that brings close to no income.
Our artistic self has to erupt within the work we present to society not in how we administer our occupation, yet most of us including myself, fail to understand how to consistently manage our passion as a business.
Making it- is subjective but always remember that ultimately there should be no real difference between living the life of an artist or the one of a Wall Street banker. Become your special 9 to 5.
By: Kiara Mereghetti
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